How many times have we used the word "They" to hide the fact that we don't have enough confidence in our own thoughts or decisions? Confused? Not sure what I'm talking about? KEEP READING! I'm going to take a trip down memory lane and tell you how I used "They" as an excuse whenever I wanted to step out of the box and do something out of the ordinary. Let's take my hair for example. I am a woman who has had the same bob cut since my parents first allowed me to cut and layer my hair in 9th grade. I didn't realize it until I moved from Atlanta to Houston and packed all of our family pictures for transport. As I sorted through the pictures from years past that I noticed the same length, the same lip color, the same part, the same dress style, and the same fake smile. Now, I did alternate the length, add highlights, and I was always put together. However, I did not see what I felt in my heart, my soul, my veins on those pictures. I feel like a colorful, bold personality, combined with conservative edge. Though, I was pretty bland in appearance and style, dressed in mostly black with a cool necklace. I saw an image of what "They" expected me to look like. What "they" would be comfortable with at work. What "they" like. What "they" said looked good on my face shape... and the list goes on. And I asked my self, why do you always wear your hair like that. It looked boring, flat, and it took so much to keep it that I didn't even do the things that made me happy like a nice swim in the pool, sit outside on the porch and read, ride with my sun roof open or work out? I wanted to be care free, bold, daring, natural and REALLY natural.. .not just chemical free but smooth polished and pressed like everyone else. I wanted the courage to allow my hair to take form of its own, and do what it was naturally designed to do so that I could not obsess over it and learn to embrace me in the raw. I was concerned that "they" would think its unkempt. Or that "they" would think I was pro Black and anti everything else and the list continues. Until I finally realized and came to grips with my use of "they" helped me not to deal with fear, doubt, and negativity growing louder and louder each day. until I was stuck in a comfort zone. That was the breakthrough moment for me. From that point on, when ever I would say "they" think, or "they will say", I moved forward and did it anyway. And guess what, REAL PEOPLE in my life, affirmed me, supported me, and were empowered by my courage. So now, I do what I want, for the reasons that align with my values, bring me joy and push me to explore who I really am. Getting beyond the " They" season is freaking awesome! Won't you join me and live life by your terms.
Everything does not deserve a solution... A powerful sentiment from Preachers of LA. Wow... I'm gonna chew on that. I've found myself frustrated when compromise felt like punishment, and a win-win was unattainable. It's ok to drop it, and forgo resolve. If the resolution is not crystal clear, or if effective communication is not successful, LET GO. In time, wisdom, prayer, and maturity will get you exactly where you need to end up on the matter. Let grow in Christ, Love, and respect and leave Tug-o -war to the kids on the elementary playground.
Today I made a decision outside of myself. I set aside what I really PREFER, all my petty little internal things to set my eye on a BIG picture goal that's going to require me to do a new thing. I also silenced the opinions and thoughts of others because I see God aligning things up for me to have a bountiful harvest IN THE TIME of THE HARVEST! To reap, you must first Sow, water, and care for the seed planted. For me, and as I approach my birthday I embrace that This is MY season to plant and BE PLANTED; sometimes in foreign soil. I'm cool and in expectancy of all that this journey will reveal as I trust God to order my steps, provide for all my needs, and keep his promises for all that he has told me he would deliver. My spiritual GPS is on and I am moving with Gods instruction fully OK if he recommends a detour on the way to my final destination. I'm moving in silence and keeping my eye on the goal(s). Your Glory will say enough. Thank you God.
Get back to YOU. LOVE you. Respect YOU and FOLLOW God. At times it is so provoking to go back to darkness, blame, confusion, and ignorance and aggression...especially in confrontational situations. I mean you fall off for a split second and dam near slide back into your carnal mind and then you remember whose you are, the karma you want, and how far you've come to be better, and you DECIDE that you ain't gonna engage in BULLSHIT.
I have learned a thing or two in my life after some painful experiences. I also regret some of my own behaviors that were learned. You know the saying, hurt people HURT PEOPLE? If no, we self aware. You may leave an impression on someone for a lifetime as a result of your own pain. In all things demonstrate a Christlike posture and do your best to be calm, and responsive rather than reactive. It will save you a decades worth of apologies and guilt ridden memories of could have, would have, and should have moments!
One of the most valuable lessons that I have learned is to not internalize how people treat me. I may just remind them of a hurtful scenario or a feeling of inadequacy that they have internally. In most cases, people love and hate you for the exact same reason! Their mistreatment of you is simply their inability to communicate that they actually desire to possess your most lovable trait. For example, if you are successful, attractive, funny, kind-hearted, driven, etc. they will love you for it and hate on you because you're successful, attractive, funny, kind-hearted, driven, etc. Don't dwell on their opinion. The people who have long lasting and meaningful relationships with you may give you constructive criticim to better you but they won't ever mistreat you.
Faith means trusting in God in advance of situations that only make sense in reverse. You can never out plan, out prepare, or out do the plans of God. So, fall back! You are out of your league. BELIEVE. For he has plans to prosper you not to harm you! Happy Thursday!
Entrepreneurship never gets easier. You just get better! Endure, So that your harvest is plentiful and no one connected to you lacks anything.
Never let success get to your head and never let failure get to your heart! Always KEEP IT MOVING! An idle mind is... Uninspiring. (we don't mention the Devil... He's already under our feet!)
Prepare and Plan for your final destination. Though it tarries wait for it. While you wait, prepare and study your craft. All you need is one shot to be all that you have dreamed of becoming. Make sure you hit the mark! "If you give me 6 hours to chop a tree, I'll sharpen my axe for 4"- Abraham Lincoln#ForwardIN14
There are some things and seasons in life when you feel as though you have been treading deep water for days. You are scattered, you feel overwhelmed, and you just want to tuck your head in the sand just throw in the towel. Truth be told, I feel like that every other day. Yet, I pause, breathe, and look up to the heaven and begin to verbally speak of all the things I am thankful for in my life. I begin small and say I am thankful for movement of my limbs, family, a new day, loved ones, health, a sound mind, freedom, sight, hearing..." Then as I fully consider all that I am thankful for, the head-tucking seems absurd!
I then embrace all of the feelings that enter my mind like doubt, fear, uncertainty, frustration, and explore and imagine what the outcome would be if I were fearless, certain, and in peace. Some times it take me a few minutes, and most times it takes an entire recipe of intent to move past the feelings. I pray for strength and courage to move forward. I call a trusted confidant and share my feelings and I replay my life to every situation where I pushed pass the same emotion. There was fear when I learned to ride a bike, uncertainty when I started a new job, frustration when I locked my keys in my car and so forth. Yet, In every case, I rose to the occasion or found a workable solution to the situation at hand. I realized how much bike riding could be and spent the summers riding with my friends. I learned the new role in the job and went on to receive promotions and accolades. Then, I called Triple A to help with my keys and ordered a spare set to keep in a secret place for emergencies.
Once I got passed the emotion of it all, I found out about myself, I discovered a hidden talent, and I became wise and knowledgable in problem solving. Isn't it amazing how you can create the biggest obstacles alone and with your imagination! The human mind is fascinating and imprisoning at the same time! For me, I realized that my logic (things I think I know and see) restrict me and distract me from embracing the unknown (outcomes I can't see or predict) and exploring the possibility of knowing the end result - that could prove to be refreshingly positive or life shaping if not. You win either way. So, set your mind machine to hibernate and wake up your spiritual and discerning self. You'll be glad you did!