The number one thing that a large population of people find attractive is confidence. And, its no different in your own business or start up. Yet, most people have never received formal training on how to be a powerful in-command man or woman.
Despite what most think, the type of confidence that quality clients and business partners look for in a person has nothing to do with acting tough or being arrogant or appearing to be a “know it all”. Confidence is KING and it could be the one FREE thing that you’re missing to help you get the results you want from your efforts.
I’ve seen it a gazillion times… someone who is working hard, providing quality content and programs or products, and has been consistently progressing forward in their focus area but can’t seem to get a big break. It’s like they’ve hit a wall because they are truly having a tough time breaking into the next dimension. They are doubting themselves because revenue, support, attendance, ticket sales etc. are slowly coming in.
And to make you feel like a good for nothing individual, you are bombarded by the appearance of everyone elses success around you. It looks like you are way behind the curve. I have news for you. You are not. You just haven't leveraged your confidence. And later this month, I am going to hop on the air and talk about how having confidence helps you attract the opportunities you long for. But today, I want to discuss 5 quick things to try on for size to help you work on your confidence. I believe that if you look at yourself and appreciate all of the things about you that you have learned from, grown from, and become better as a whole, you will focus less on what others around you are doing.
I promise you, these 5 tips may sound corny at first, but theyvactually friggin work! And I'll share with you what a friend of mine once told me. He said that even if you have 1 tooth in your entire mouth, you just need to keep that sucker white! LOL THAT is confidence.
Now it will take a lot of time to walk around with 1 tooth in your mouth and smile big all day, but for now we are going to talk about 5 easy things that you can do to build Kick Ass Confidence.
I want you to just start with these things everyday and in a matter of 21 days, you'll feel different. You'll see yourself looking in the mirror differently and you'll even feel a lot less intimidated when you have an opportunity within your grasps.
1. Use Music
One of the simplest tricks for helping yourself to both take action and feel more confident: Creating your own inspiring musical playlist, and playing it whenever appropriate. (Athletes know this secret and use music all the time, while training at the gym.)
Just as sad music in melodic keys can help us process feelings when life hits us like a ton of bricks... like relationship breakups or the loss of a loved one - rnergizing music or inspiring music actually raises our confidence level to the point where we take action. I mean think of your workout playlist. We all think playing Beyonce music will help us to not die on the treadmill or 5 mile run.
Choose your own favorite “theme song” and play it just before you step out into something that would usually scare the pee right out of you. Why do you think Ford used this same philosophy in one of their new car campaigns when a woman was sitting in her car blaring "Flavor in your ear". The song said "I'm kicking flavor in your, time for brand new flavor in your ear". Maybe she was psyching her self up to introduce a new way of thinking to her colleagues. One could imagine for days, but you get what I am saying here. Use music.
2. Dress for Success -
This doesn’t mean putting on a formal business suit to eat breakfast. It does mean that everyday you should try to dress in a way that boosts your self-confidence and makes you feel good about yourself.
Don’t try to copy your ideal celebrity or social media crush unless that’s a look you totally relate to. But the idea behind this tip is to focus more on dressing a way that makes you feel like you have already achieved your top goal. If you see yourself with a mohawk in many colors and layers, go for it. If you see yourself as edgy and trendy, go for it. If you see yourself in tailor made suits and killer accessories. wear them! And take note of how it makes you feel, when you dress for success.
Change your hairstyle. Buy those shoes you’ve been wistfully drooling over. Don’t worry about what other people think. Wearing what makes you feel successful and confident will attract the right doors to open —for you.
3. Adopt a Mantra and Live By It
For centuries different tribes, teams, and organizations came up with mantras and slogans that motivated, elevated, and inspired: sports teams, military groups, non-profits, businesses…
These mantras have led people and helped shape cultures. So I am positive that making a mantra will help you to build some kick ass confidence! Confidence and Passion drives everything. It creates positive energy. It motivates. It is contagious. And I also think confidence gives life to creativity and innovation, because only when people are both passionate and confident about something, can they come up with creative solutions, give their all, and drive transformative change that they want for themselves.
You may not know it but I have a few that I speak everyday. I have positive affirmations yes, but its different from a mantra. I pray yes. I practice gratitude and the law of attraction but I still have a Mantra that I live by.
Mine is "All it takes is all you’ve got". This builds my confidence and reminds me that I have everything I need right now to go after what I want. And as crazy as I look to others, I believe it and that makes all the difference.
4. Start Small
Do you have a big change to make? Don’t wait for the “right time”—start small. For example, if you want a new office but can’t afford it, try buying a new piece of furniture or an accessory for your office that will make your life easier—like a bookshelf; or even just a shelf. Or a new lamp, Or even just some flowers because you deserve them!
When you start to surround yourself with things that signify success or make life easier, you are sending yourself a strong message - “I CAN have this in my life! I deserve this!” Your confidence soars because you begin to make choices that speak volumes louder than you have ever made before. Start Small.
5. Make Confidence a Habit
Contrary to what others might think, no one is born with supreme self-confidence. It has to be learned. And it CAN be learned.
So consciously work on changing your habits. Take actions you need to take, change negative self-talk to realistic and more positive talk, and actively adopt the attitude of what you define as a successful person.
Confidence is not only for the lucky few who “succeed”. Anyone can have it—all you have to do is create the habit.
I know that you’ve heard the word “authentic” at nauseam in this day and age…but it’s kind of hard to take it seriously when “glow up” and post-worthy ONLY pics dominate every timeline across the globe. Yet and still, authenticity is a necessary concept if you ever decide to make a living doing something you love. Of course! We rely on social media for free advertising to tell people who we are, what we have to offer, and why they should work with us, and we want to put our best foot forward.
However, there is a fine line between authenticity and disrespect.
I get that you have to keep it real or keep things “100”. I also get that Cardi B makes no apologies for who she is and has used who she is to set records worldwide. I also get that you only get one life and one reputation. But, as a woman who makes her living and feeds her family off of her craft, I have to be me, authentically, unapologetically, and with respect for other views and opinions. Doing so, I can attract a variety of interests to the thing or idea that I want to sell for a profit.
For decades, studies were completed and it was proven that people hire and buy from those they know, like, and trust – The KLT Factor. So, the best way to earn the trust of your clients is to be authentic in how you present yourself. But, how do you do that and do it effectively?
I guess you’d have to start with the question - What is authenticity? Other than being a commonly-used buzzword these last few years, authenticity means being your true self in both words and actions.
Bottom line, your words and actions should match. Your passion should be evident but not look like it’s a well-rehearsed act. Your honesty and integrity should be evident when speaking to you – about anything, not just in certain areas. And, your online persona should match your offline persona when people meet you in person. When these things are congruent, people are more likely to trust you personally and soon after professionally.
I know for me, there is a subtle nuance to authenticity because there is a thing called perception that can truly screw some people up. Sometimes things are perceived spot on. Other times things perceived are further from the truth that you ever imagined. Though, you have to get over it and focus on being consistent until the false perception is not even a possible reality.
You also have to let yourself relax and remove the pressure to be authentic. You are authentic already because there is no other version of you. You are not a handbag, or seasoned cuisine from a region on earth. You just have to recognize that being authentic really means being the YOU that YOU are in a particular setting. Sometimes we struggle with owning the fact that we have situational behaviors that we exhibit that don’t discredit who we say we are. For instance, wearing shorts or a business casual outfit to a corporate fundraising gala where the other attendees are in formal tuxedos could be seen as a sign of disrespect, even if that’s what you wear at your own house or office. Or, lets say you start cursing in the middle of a staff meeting or in your emails or on your social media posts - even if that’s how you speak at home, it could be seen as disrespectful and off putting to anyone that could be considering a joint venture with you. This ultimately could get you further away from what you really desire.
No matter how you define the word authenticity, it’s an important trait when it comes to company branding and associating yourself as your company’s spokesperson. If you find that you are not the best spokesperson for your brand, admit it and find someone who is. Or, change your focus altogether because, likeability is the REAL IT FACTOR that will connect you to your ideal client. Not everyone will like you personally, but many could like what you stand for or what you are skilled at providing. We see it every day. People may not like the personal choices of Tiger Woods, but he undeniably is a great golf player who made the sport more exciting.
So, why is this important to me? I’m glad you asked. This is important to me because I want people to not look at authenticity as a mechanical formula or how to be, think, or speak with others. Rather, I want them to ask themselves “Am I aligned and congruent in my thoughts and actions on a day to day basis? “Do I display and uphold my own values?” “Am I honest with myself and others?” These questions help you to remain authentic and true to yourself so that you exude confidence, skill, and belief in yourself which ultimately attracts who you truly desire to be connected with in life, love, friendship, and business.
How this plays out in real life.
Take a used car salesman stereotype for example. Now when I use this as an example, some of you instantly can picture a sleazy fast talking guy who is pleasant to your face when you approach the car lot looking to make a purchase, but then bad mouths you to the other sales persons when you are out of earshot. He gripes on and on about how horrible you are for wasting his time and not buying his car or asking too many questions if you don’t drive off in the car you felt him forcing on you.
For most people, that would turn them off from buying from him and the establishment because you wouldn’t trust anyone there if they allowed this to go on. True, he may be a forth right person. He may even authentically be direct in personality, but his actions are not in alignment with his goals. His goal was to sell you a car. His goal was to make a good impression on you to close the deal and get a bonus.
Instead, his actions did the exact opposite. So in my opinion, he was inauthentic. He defaulted to the stereotypical sales persona we all imagine instead of aligning himself with the actions that would have generated the outcome he wanted.
So again, authenticity is not about becoming someone you are not. Its about being honest with yourself and others about where you are and what you hope to accomplish and doing it in your own unique and respectful manner.
Now, lets see how that scenario would have played out with another type of salesman who’s authentic approach was centered around the idea of genuinely wanting to help you.
In this example his only goal was to sell you a reliable used car. He was focused on selling you a car that actually works because he remembers when his car was flooded out in a hurricane and felt desperate.
From his own unique experience, he could authentically answer any questions you might have and would be willing to find the answers if he didn’t know them right off the bat. He would be honest about the inner workings of the car and would be disappointed if you walked away from the deal, but you wouldn’t feel pressured to buy something you’re not ready for at the moment. So, you, the buyer, would leave, and he would thank you for your time. He then would invite you to give him a call if you wanted to revisit the opportunity to work with him.
So, you, the buyer, leave, shop around and run into a few other sleazy sales persons who just didn’t seem as authentic as the second example above. Guess what happens? You, the buyer, go back to the person that was most authentic and buy whatever they recommend even though they may not have exactly what you were looking for initially.
Why??? I’ll tell you why… the second sales person gave you the better authentic vibe. They had the KLT factor. You felt like you knew them personally. You liked them… but more importantly, they appeared trust worthy.
So, don’t believe the hype. Be you. Be respectful. Be authentic, and you will align yourselves with what you desire for your life and business.
How to Charge Your Worth As An Entrepreneur?
I know from my own experience that too many entrepreneurs, (Women-Especially) are overly heart-centered and don’t charge enough (if at all!) for their work.
I used to think that I was the only person with this problem during the days of old when I found it hard to charge for my time and energy…until I begin to coach other women. So, as I follow up on an email to a client of mine and help her push past her fear of what others will think about her new pricing structure, I am sharing with you what I believe ALL entrepreneurs MUST practice in order to know and embrace their worth.
I ask my clients: “What Happens When You Cheat Yourself?”
Usually when I ask this, all of them look at me with a confused face and sometimes get defensive because they don’t recognize that they are cheating themselves. Then, once we move through that conversation, I explain to them that when they don’t charge their worth, they minimize their worth and cheat themselves out of their own desires. I explain further that being afraid to articulate their value is a total dis-service to their life and ultimately becomes a dis-service to their clients!
As you could imagine, we struggle through the conversation until I am able to get them to agree that there is always a transference of energy in addition to the transference of money every time they transact business with someone else. And, at all times, there has to be an equal exchange of energy for their work and brain power to deliver the task, or service, or product. So as I would say to my client, let me say to you: If you are undervaluing yourself, you’re taking away the satisfaction and enjoyment that your client could have while working with you if the energy exchanged is mutually – rewarding and worthwhile.
So let’s now look at the 5 steps I recommend using to charge your worth as an entrepreneur:
#1. UNDERSTAND & EDUCATE others about the value of your work
Do you really know the value of your work? For example, will working with you help your clients obtain financial freedom, teach people how to leave a life-sucking J-O-B, and do what they truly love and live their purpose for the rest of their lives? Do you help your clients embrace their beauty or body, or do you restore confidence? Do you make life easy for them so that they spend more times with loved ones? If you answered yes to any of this, you ARE helping people find fulfilment, love, and show up even more in their lives and businesses! Holy CRAP!!! What is the value of that? I’ll tell you what it is! It’s Priceless, and people will pay you every dime that they have if you are able to do what you say you can. TELL THEM THE TRUTH, YOU ARE WORTH EVERY DAMN PENNY!!!!!
#2. Change plot in your money story
Release any, old, mind limiting beliefs and stories that are holding you back. They’re not even yours, anyway! Somebody made you believe the bullsh--. Most practices and beliefs you have about money were passed down from your parents or society… and only God knows where they inherited them unknowingly! These thoughts and references no longer serve you. You are released right now from accepting them. Today is the day, that you say HELLO to wealth consciousness and ABUNDANCE that already belongs to you! It’s there and you are at this moment (and because you’re reading my blog getting into alignment to accept it. This month, today is the perfect opportunity to commit to reprogramming your belief system and turn up your PayMe-O-Meter!!! Study wealth consciousness, money mindset materials, and with a business coach like me (shameless plug)!
#3. Offer programs and packages that reflect your Lane of Genius
STAY IN YOUR LANE! You’ve got to offer programs that are in your LANE – your zone or expertise. The Universe works that way – when are positioned and in alignment with your natural gifts, and you couple that with your purpose and your passion, everything that you require will be provided and presented to you without strain or stress! This is why competition shouldn’t scare you or make you feel less than worthy of great opportunities. The way I see it, competition doesn’t exist. You’re unique, and others have equal gifts, but your specific Lane of Genius is not duplicable!
Today, stop comparing offers, services, and rates to others based on what you think looks similar. Start finding out what your gifts are, and then offer packages, services, and programs that are in alignment with YOU, and where you want to be financially.
#4. Realize that You are Not Your Client (it’s not about you)
A lot of women entrepreneurs are afraid of increasing prices because one they may not be able to afford that service or place as high of a value on it, because the skill comes natural for you. You have not stepped out of your own experience to recognize that you are unique and that YOU are what others need. Think less as well about what will other people think/say/do? The truth of the matter is, what people say and how they react is truly none of your business. One of my favorite mindset coaches is As Abraham-Hicks, and she once said…
“When you offer premium services, you allow your clients to invest in themselves at a higher level through you – it’s more about them than it is about you.” This changed the game for me and for my clients, because I started to want more for them and with a higher investment in me, I could provide the best for them. It’s not about YOU.
#5. Invest in Financial Mentor
When you commit to investing in your business, stuff comes up from every direction and the pressure to pay is turned up to the max! This is why pushing yourself to improve your business and charge your worth is the ultimate self-development program that you can do. So its important for you to invest in yourself and hire a coach or mentor that is determined to help you clear away all blocks that are stopping you from doubling, tripling, and charging $XXXX number of dollars more with confidence. The time is now and #timesup on cheating yourself.
Own your worth, ladies!!! Or let me show you how!
@NuEpps | http://nuepps.com/coaching | Toll Free: 888-833-5424
Nu Epps, Author
Nu shares pages from her personal journal as she recounts some of the lessons and experiences she survived as a brand new entrepreneur. Between the stories, she also shares tips, tricks, and techniques to transform your mind, empower your creativity, and improve your business processes to keep you profitable and sane in your business.
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