“There is only one success – to be able to spend your life in your own way”
If we learned nothing from the “Queen B” (Beyonce Knowles Carter) on Saturday, April 14th during her infamous Coachella 2018 performance, we learned that evolving into your full authentic self - unapologetically could inspire a nation and epitomize the idea of S-U-C-C-E-S-S!
Unless you live under a rock, I’m sure that by now you have heard rumblings about the #Beychella performance or seen highlights completely takeover your social media news feed. And, while her Coachella performance or 20-year discography may not have necessarily garnered your interest before… she undeniable peaked your interest after you heard all the buzz! Right?!
Though after I found the link to view the performance a day later, I felt a deeper connection to the performance. Yes. I was extremely proud to see a part of my actual life reflected in a positive light on an international viewing stage delivered by one of my favorite performers. Yes. I also was beyond proud as a native of Houston, Texas. Yes. I attended a predominately-black high school, pledged a historically black sorority Alpha Kappa Alpha, and worked at the prestigious Spelman College- an HBCU where I was responsible for planning the HBCU homecoming experience. However, what I gleaned most was the full out display of a women who had evolved unapologetically. I felt moved. I felt inspired. I felt obligated to talk about it, write about it, and reflect fully on it. I even created an episode on air this week on my online radio station and podcast platform the “Process Pro Radio” (Click to Listen.)
Ultimately, the performance made me ask myself if I was actually marching to the beat of my own drum. I also asked myself if I was creating spaces for people to be inspired and empowered as a result of me expressing myself, my dreams, my values, in my own voice and style. So, this blog post is meant to ask you the same question, and to also share a few tips discussed on my on air segment of “ The Process Pro” radio show to help you move to a place of unapologetic evolution that I want to call "The Beyoncé Effect".
Now, I am asking YOU…Are you marching to the beat of your own drum, or are you poorly dancing to someone else’s tempo? Are you being your true self? Have you examined the idea of being your true self to obtain real and LASTING success?
The truth is that you can’t have great success without being true to yourself and being present in your own life and necessary processes. In, my humble opinion, Beyonce has weathered public weight fluctuations, lawsuits, disbanding, re-branding, family divorce, sibling rivalry, hate, lyrical protests, PETA campaigns, miscarriages, and an adulterous husband that we can name. Yet, she still continues to use all of it to inspire her creativity and impact in this world. (We talk more specifically in the radio segment. Listen Here)
So, in looking at her life, her choices, her risks taken, and her own path, she has proven to me that success on someone else’s terms isn’t really success – and neither is success against your own values. Think about it. This is one of the primary reasons why money doesn’t always bring happiness to those that we admire. We look at them and idolize the life they portray without having access to the actual life that they LIVE. Money can prevent people from being their true selves because of the fear of losing it – the fame, the endorsements, the image…then, they suffer and ultimately succumb to an untimely demise – be it mentally, spiritually, ethically, or literally. Your evolution is important. As you experience life, love, heartbreak, death, joy, success, and struggle you are forever changed. Embrace it all and allow your own evolution to move you through the seasons of life – unapologetically.
This is not easy by any means. To evolve unapologetically, you must first decide exactly what success, peace, and joy means to you. Aligning your experiences to someone else’s will only keep you lost and unsure of your own purpose. Evolving unapologetically simply means being comfortable in your own skin and uninhibited by judgement of others as you become all that you were destined to be. I feel that I am evolving daily and I make it a habit to let people know who I really am with all my vulnerabilities and failings because it shows that I am human: sometimes confident, sometimes uncertain or insecure.
I do this because generally speaking, projecting an image that conflicts with my real self is uncomfortable. So, in watching the performance at Coachella, I saw the real BEYONCE - a woman who was enjoying living a life she dreamed that was possible, without dimming her light, her gender, her culture, her ethnicity, her gifts, her sex appeal, her role as a mom and wife, her hard work, and her full self on stage. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. It was empowering.
Removing conflict between who you are perceived to be and who you are in reality is much more liberating and fulfilling because you live life in accordance with your values. When you know what your principles and values are, every decision that you make is in line with your core personal philosophy. It IS scary to be so uncovered. I know. But, the good news is that thanks to the internet and global markets these days, you can thrive in your business and earn enough to live well. So, you may as well evolve unapologetically and in a way that reflects you, your personality and your own process.
These days, you can design a business model around yourself, rather than redesigning yourself around a business model. Most importantly, Beyonce reminded me that there should be no shortcuts taken with your own evolution – it’s vital to your own success. I gleaned further that it is absolutely possible to build your business in a way that leverages your strengths and minimizes your weaknesses. There is no ‘one size fits all’ approach to life, love, entrepreneurship, balance, etc. Choose whatever suits you and your purpose, and work hard to ensure that your goals and your business model are a good, authentic ‘fit’.
Don’t compromise your evolution with self-imposed restriction. In your efforts with fails included… there is an opportunity for innovation, creativity, and originality. True success is hard to achieve without impressing your own identity on it. Hands Down… Coachella, because of Beyoncé, has a new name!
If you are ready to evolve unapologetically, ask yourself these questions:
● Would I be doing this ________________, if I didn’t need the money?
● Does my life make sense?
● Is this who I am?
● Am I doing something because it makes someone else happy?
● Am I heading in the right direction?
● Am I happy?
● Am I being the best version of myself?
● Am I hiding who I am to fit into a perceived image
● Am I using my voice?
● Are my sacrifices greater than my reward?
If you’re not satisfied with your answers, make changes. Align with your true self, and head off on your own path to evolution, before it’s too late. If you need help, I am here to guide you through my unique Process Pro program!
Love & Light,
I am currently floating on cloud 9 after my 5th Annual Stilettos and Strategies Women’s Conference this weekend! While it was not without mishaps and unpredictable occurrences, it was successful because the objective was met, the tickets sold out, the feedback was positive, and the budget was in the black. Now, this may not mean much to you, but to me it is everything.
I know that many think that because I am an event planner, I have all the answers and never experience hiccups. However, that couldn’t be further from the truth! In fact, the hardest thing for an event planner to do is plan their own event. Some of it is because we are not our clients and we are not working with the same level of budget that our high ends clients entrust to us.
W also e don’t give ourselves the same time and energy that we give to our paying clients. We give them so much time that we rush our tasks because we have limited hours to apply the same level of focus to our project when we have 9 other irons in the fire that have the power to make our break our reputation and livelihood. But, I still managed to pull off an amazing event that truly touched and transformed the hearts of all who attended. So, I want to share my secrets to success to anyone that may have had challenges getting the attendance they desired and the event flow down to science.
Having a successful in-person event requires a little more work than a webinar, meeting, happy hour, or pop up mixer, but they are much more meaningful and fun. Sure, they take a bit of planning, but if you follow these tips you’ll be well on your way to a sold out function.
Good planning and plenty of forethought will only help you to reach your event related goals. More importantly, it will show your guests how much you value you them and respect their time shared with you. If planning events makes you break out in a cold sweat, head on over to my company Esyntial Elements at esyntialelements.com (@esyntialelements) and schedule a FREE consultation.
Love & Light
Nu Epps, Author
Nu shares pages from her personal journal as she recounts some of the lessons and experiences she survived as a brand new entrepreneur. Between the stories, she also shares tips, tricks, and techniques to transform your mind, empower your creativity, and improve your business processes to keep you profitable and sane in your business.
Listen to nu live on process pro radio