How many times have we used the word "They" to hide the fact that we don't have enough confidence in our own thoughts or decisions? Confused? Not sure what I'm talking about? KEEP READING! I'm going to take a trip down memory lane and tell you how I used "They" as an excuse whenever I wanted to step out of the box and do something out of the ordinary. Let's take my hair for example. I am a woman who has had the same bob cut since my parents first allowed me to cut and layer my hair in 9th grade. I didn't realize it until I moved from Atlanta to Houston and packed all of our family pictures for transport. As I sorted through the pictures from years past that I noticed the same length, the same lip color, the same part, the same dress style, and the same fake smile. Now, I did alternate the length, add highlights, and I was always put together. However, I did not see what I felt in my heart, my soul, my veins on those pictures. I feel like a colorful, bold personality, combined with conservative edge. Though, I was pretty bland in appearance and style, dressed in mostly black with a cool necklace. I saw an image of what "They" expected me to look like. What "they" would be comfortable with at work. What "they" like. What "they" said looked good on my face shape... and the list goes on. And I asked my self, why do you always wear your hair like that. It looked boring, flat, and it took so much to keep it that I didn't even do the things that made me happy like a nice swim in the pool, sit outside on the porch and read, ride with my sun roof open or work out? I wanted to be care free, bold, daring, natural and REALLY natural.. .not just chemical free but smooth polished and pressed like everyone else. I wanted the courage to allow my hair to take form of its own, and do what it was naturally designed to do so that I could not obsess over it and learn to embrace me in the raw. I was concerned that "they" would think its unkempt. Or that "they" would think I was pro Black and anti everything else and the list continues. Until I finally realized and came to grips with my use of "they" helped me not to deal with fear, doubt, and negativity growing louder and louder each day. until I was stuck in a comfort zone. That was the breakthrough moment for me. From that point on, when ever I would say "they" think, or "they will say", I moved forward and did it anyway. And guess what, REAL PEOPLE in my life, affirmed me, supported me, and were empowered by my courage. So now, I do what I want, for the reasons that align with my values, bring me joy and push me to explore who I really am. Getting beyond the " They" season is freaking awesome! Won't you join me and live life by your terms.
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Nu Epps, Author
Nu shares pages from her personal journal as she recounts some of the lessons and experiences she survived as a brand new entrepreneur. Between the stories, she also shares tips, tricks, and techniques to transform your mind, empower your creativity, and improve your business processes to keep you profitable and sane in your business.